Jealousy: Can it be a good thing?

When people think about jealousy, it’s natural to assume that it’s only ever a bad thing. After all, we shouldn’t be comparing ourselves to others and should instead be happy with ourselves. If only this could happen so easily.

Thanks to social media, it has become increasingly difficult not to compare ourselves to others. But it’s easy to forget that people only put on social media what they choose to. It’s therefore not a realistic representation of their lives.

I have been thinking recently about how jealousy has the potential to be used as a positive; as a way of highlighting what you really want in life and in turn enabling someone to make the changes in their life in order to achieve it.

It can be so easy to just carry on with the way life is because it’s easier than trying something different and possibly failing. But what if you see someone else achieve their goals? Can it not make you feel as though you can also achieve yours?

Not all type of jealousy is so easily rectified though. If you’re jealous of the way someone looks or how much money they earn in comparison to you, this can’t always be changed. Therefore the way of combatting this jealousy is learning how to be happy with what you have in life, and unfortunately that’s not always as easy.

But turning jealousy into a positive can help create life goals and positive ways of changing. Jealously can perhaps be the mirror you hold up to your own life and realise what you want to change in order to be truly happy.

*Sarah Keeping is currently undertaking a Counselling Skills course in London and is looking to change her professional subject area to Counselling Psychology. Previous qualifications are in Investigative Psychology, Psychology, Applied Criminology, and Criminology and Sociology. Follow Sarah on twitter at @SKeeping_Psych

Jessica Valentine is a Chartered Counselling Psychologist who supports people within the local community and worldwide online. She offers online Skype therapy and face-to-face counselling in East Sussex, Brighton-Hove.

skype: JessValentine
follow her on Twitter, FB and IG: @getwellbrighton

MenTool Kit: Join Jonathan’s Monday Night Men’s Group in Brighton, East Sussex


Hi, I’m Jonathan and as I started MenTool Kit up I guess you may want to know a little about me. Most of my 20’s and early 30’s were spent on improving and finding myself. I would say this is a life long journey, but it was more so in those years. This involved lots of reading, experiencing and just being in order to learn as much as I could. The older I go, the more I became interested in sharing this others and helping people the best I could. I became a Level 2 Pilates matwork instructor to be able to help people physically (which then reflects in mental well being), a Level 2 Reiki Seichem healer to help people energetically and a Mindfulness based CBT therapist to help people’s minds. It is a lifelong learning journey with workshops and training regularly being attended in all manner of modalities. Even with all this I still felt that something wasn’t quite right. In Pilates I loved getting guys involved as it’s often seen as a female orientated exercise system (even though it was invented by a man). I would go to well-being events and see women talking about empowerment and setting up groups and again it didn’t feel right to me. I believed men need this just as much as women. In fact, when you look at suicide rates for example, you could say that men now actually need this more!!! So this is why I set up MenTool Kit. It’s time for men to connect to one another more deeply, time to support one another and time to grow together. We can evolve the modern man together!

Read more about Jonathan here: http://bit.ly/2rBDYea

Jessica Valentine is a Chartered Counselling Psychologist who supports people within the local community and worldwide online. She offers online Skype therapy and face-to-face counselling in East Sussex, Brighton-Hove.

skype: JessValentine
follow her on Twitter, FB and IG: @getwellbrighton